Reality Check
by Sleepy Jean
Summary: (Mary Sue Parody) Isabella thought it would be wonderful if she could travel to Middle-earth...and maybe win the heart of Legolas. However, life isn't a movie, as she soon finds out! If only she'd paid more attention to the books... (6/?)
1. Oh, To Be An Elf!

A/N: Of course this is a parody. It is meant to be awful. As one of the many   
who are tired of reading even the *summaries* of so many Mary Sue stories, I   
decided to do my own, with a ridiculously beautiful and talented   
high schooler who goes to Middle-earth. However, things don't always go as   
planned... Muahahahahahaha.  
____________________________________________

  
Chapter One: Oh, To Be An Elf!   
  
  
Isabella Anastasia Freebush looked up at herself in her full-length mirror   
and sighed. She had been reading Lord of the Rings fanfiction, and   
sympathized with the girls in the stories.  
  
"I've had to deal with adversity myself," she thought. "I've always felt so   
alone."  
  
Isabella _had_ had a difficult life. More beautiful than most, she was taunted   
at school. The other kids had always thought that since she had such beauty,   
she couldn't possibly be intelligent. Quite the contrary; Isabella always   
made very good grades, and everyone expected her to be the valedictorian come   
the end of the school year, her senior year. This made the other, more stupid   
and pitiable students even more jealous, and resulted in more taunting.  
  
As if going through life without friends wasn't bad enough, Isabella's family   
was also jealous of her good looks and shunned her. Sure, she had all the   
clothes and shoes she wanted, plenty of money in her pockets, and a gorgeous   
car, but it was clear that her parents cared more about her sister, Alexandra   
Helena Freebush. They were always talking about how wonderful she was. They   
had all of her softball, volleyball and basketball trophies proudly   
displayed beside their father's football trophy. Isabella's awards for her   
academic accomplishments were on the bottom shelf, or on the wall behind the   
trophy room's door.  
  
Yes, the adversities poor Isabella had to deal with in her upper-middle class   
life were truly enough to make even a grown man cry, she believed.  
  
Isabella cut off her computer and crossed over to her copy of _The Lord of   
the Rings_. She'd read it once, mainly skimming through to find the lines   
that contained the words "Legolas" or "Aragorn" or some equally appealing   
name. She often wished to escape the horrible world in which she lived to   
go to the wonderful world contained in her book. Maybe she could be an   
Elf... Isabella smiled and ran her finger along the spine of the book,   
considering another skim-session.  
  
"Isabella!" a voice called from the other side of her door.  
  
Isabella rolled her eyes. "What is it, Alexandra?" she called back.  
  
Alexandra opened the door and came in. "Mom and I are going shopping. Do you   
want to come along?"  
  
"Can I check out that new boutique while we're out?" Isabella asked   
hopefully.  
  
"We're only going to one store, and it's on the opposite side of town. Maybe   
we could talk Mom into a stop, though. Should I ask her?" Alexandra offered.  
  
Isabella shook her head, causing her long blonde hair to brush against her   
back. "Don't bother," she replied. Alexandra shrugged and left, and Isabella   
flung herself onto her bed.  
  
"It's not fair," she whined. "They hate me! They just _hate_ me!" She stood and   
decided a little skimming would do her good. Looking at her mirror once   
again, she smiled at her reflection. While tossing oneself about as she had   
just done would normally mess one's hair, Isabella's fell back into place   
perfectly.  
  
She grabbed her book and opened it. She felt what she thought to be a strong   
wind pushing--or was it pulling?-- her forward. She closed the book and   
looked around, but the wind had stopped. Shrugging, she opened it back up.   
The mysterious wind began to blow once more, and she felt herself being   
sucked into the book. Unable to fight the force of the wind, she let herself   
be pulled in. The last thing she heard from her world was a loud slurping   
sound and a thud, which she imagined to be her being sucked into the book and   
the book hitting the floor, respectively.   
  
Isabella looked around herself. She was in a white-floored room with enormous   
black walls. She took a step towards one of the walls, then the bottom fell   
out of the room and Isabella felt a falling sensation. She screamed as she   
plummeted down, down, down, before she finally landed on something solid.   



	2. Well, That's Disappointing

A/N: Special thanks should go to San Antonio Rose for the wonderful suggestion of what   
the solid thing Isabella lands on should be. Thanks, Rose!  
___________________________________________

  
Chapter Two: Well, That's Disappointing  
  
  
"OW!" Isabella yelled in a most ungraceful manner. She had landed hard   
on...on...what _had_ she landed on, anyway? Isabella screamed as the something   
began moving. Isabella was suddenly aware that there was a sword pointed at   
her. She gulped.  
  
"Get this she-devil off of me!"   
  
Isabella scrambled to her feet and looked down. She rubbed her eyes and shook   
her head at what she saw. There, on the ground, lay a very angry-looking   
dwarf! He grabbed his axe and bounded to his feet, glaring at her the whole   
time.  
  
"Who are you, and why did you jump on me?" he demanded.  
  
Isabella opened her mouth to respond, but let out a squeal instead. There   
behind the dwarf stood an elf. _The _elf as far as she was concerned. She'd   
know that face anywhere.  
  
"Legolas," she drooled, disregarding the arrow he had pointed right at her.  
  
The dwarf looked back at the elf, then turned back to Isabella. "I asked you   
a question. Who are you?"  
  
"Legolaaaaas," she said again, not taking her eyes off of the archer.  
  
"No, he's Legolas. Who are_ you_?" came a voice from below. Isabella looked   
down and saw that it was Pippin addressing her. She had the sudden urge to   
ruffle his hair or pat him on the head or just hug him. Instead she turned   
back to Legolas.  
  
"Young lady, I believe you have been asked a question. Please answer," said   
another person. This turned out to be Gandalf. For the first time Isabella   
looked around herself. There she was, in the midst of the Fellowship! She   
squealed again. The Fellowship exchanged a few glances. Gimli growled lowly.  
  
"Explain yourself!" Gimli ordered.  
  
Isabella tried to regain her composure, telling herself that Arwen would   
never lose control. She stood up straight and looked Gimli in the eye. "My   
name is Isabella Anastacia Freebush. I did _not _ jump on you, um...whatever   
your name was. I always skimmed past your parts, you know. Trust me, if I   
were to jump on anyone, it wouldn't be you!"  
  
"But you did jump on him," Aragorn told her. "Why did you attack him?"  
  
Isabella gave Aragorn her best, biggest smile. "I did not do it on purpose,   
Aragorn. I am...I am a Ranger! Yeah, that's it. I wish to join your   
Fellowship."  
  
Aragorn gave her a stern look. "You are not a Ranger. Why do you lie?"  
  
Isabella pouted. Of course he'd know she wasn't a Ranger! How stupid of her!   
She smiled again. "Forgive me. I am a warrior, though not a Ranger. I am very   
skilled with a...uh...sword. I'm pretty good with a bow, too! I want to join   
the Fellowship. Can I?"  
  
Gandalf called Frodo and Aragorn aside, leaving the others to watch her. She,   
in turn, watched Legolas. That is, until the idea that she may be an elf   
herself entered her mind.   
  
"Of course!" she thought. "They always turn into Elves in fanfiction!" She   
excitedly reached for her ears to feel for a point. To her dismay they were   
still rounded. She looked down at her clothing and was equally disappointed.   
She didn't wear a beautiful, flowing gown. She actually wore something that   
looked like the dress of a peasant! Isabella considered crying. How could   
Legolas see her this way? This was the end of the world, she decided.  
  
Gandalf, Frodo and Aragorn returned. They stood silently, observing the   
stranger's actions. She seemed torn between gazing upon Legolas and looking   
forlornly at her clothing.  
  
"What town do you hail from?" Gandalf questioned.  
  
Isabella sniffled and looked up at him. "I come from a...a far-off land. I   
got...uh, kidnapped! I was kidnapped by dorks and they were bringing me to   
that...that place where the Dark Lord or whatever he's called is from. I   
escaped, though. I was running when I hit the dwarf."  
  
The Fellowship looked confused. They exchanged more glances.  
  
"Dorks?" Boromir said. "You mean Orcs?"  
  
"Whatever," she shrugged.  
  
"They were taking you to Mordor?" Merry asked. "Why?"  
  
"I don't know," Isabella replied. "I didn't think to ask them."  
  
"This is most unfortunate," Boromir commented. He looked at Gandalf, waiting   
for him to decide what they should do.  
  
"Put away your weapons," Gandalf ordered finally. "We are too far from   
Rivendell to return her to Lord Elrond's care."  
  
"She cannot come on such a journey!" Gimli protested. "Surely you aren't   
suggesting she come along!"  
  
"There is no other choice at this time, Gimli," Gandalf answered. "We are   
going through the Wild, and will not come to a town for a good while. She   
will have to journey with us for now. Perhaps a more suitable answer will   
present itself soon, unless one of you will volunteer to see her back to   
Rivendell. If you choose to do so, the rest of us will be unable to wait for   
you."  
  
No one volunteered.  
  
"Very well. Isabella, you shall walk with us until we find another solution   
to the problem," Gandalf decided. Aragorn quietly warned Legolas, Gimli and   
Boromir to keep a close watch on her at all times.  
  
Isabella didn't notice. She was smiling to herself. From what she remembered,   
the Company walked in the Wild for a long time.   
  
"Just a walk in the hills," she thought. "I'll have plenty of time to get to   
know Legolas and to make him fall in love with me!" She grinned at him as she   
thought up her plans.  
  
"I do not like the way she looks at me," Legolas said quietly to Boromir.  
  
"Best be on your guard," Boromir responded. "I hear that the dark forces have   
many spies."  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. And Then There Was Snow

Chapter Three: And Then There Was Snow  
  
"I'm cold," Isabella complained as they trudged up Caradhras. She clung to the arm of Legolas. She'd been sure to stay close by as they walked. As she'd expected, the journey had been fairly uneventful thus far. She heard the others talking about some birds or something, but that didn't seem like such a problem. She remembered the birds from the movie, but they didn't hurt anyone. She shrugged this talk off.  
  
"We shall be on the other side of this mountain before you know it, lady," Legolas answered. "Would you please excuse me?" Isabella reluctantly let go of his arm and he hurried to catch up to Gandalf.   
  
"What is wrong, Legolas?" the wizard questioned.  
  
"I am worried, Gandalf. Never have I had the strength drained from me so. I fear Isabella may be working for the Dark Lord as Boromir suggested," Legolas whispered back.  
  
Gandalf looked thoughtful. "We shall keep a closer watch on her."  
  
Legolas nodded and fell back to his place in line. He tightened his jaw as Isabella once again grabbed his arm. She began to talk again about how cold she was, then went on to tell more of how her family hated her. Legolas listened silently, but wondered if she ever stopped talking.  
  
He looked up at the sky as snow began falling. It fell slowly at first, but was soon coming down at a great rate. Gandalf, Aragorn and Gimli were speaking of the possibility that this was the work of the enemy. Gandalf and Legolas exchanged a glance, but said nothing.  
  
"I can't see anything!" Isabella continued to whine. "And this wood is_ very_ heavy!" She cast her piece of wood to the ground. _We'll just have to make do with one less piece is all_, she thought. She was miserable, and wanted nothing more than to get off that stupid mountain and into some warm, dry clothes. And to sit by a toasty fire with Legolas. Yes, that would be nice...  
  
She realized that the snow had almost completely stopped falling. They kept moving. Isabella sighed as the snow picked up again soon after. She clung tighter to Legolas' arm at the sounds heard above. She didn't know what it was, but she knew it was frightening. Then she got an idea.  
  
"Legolas," she said in as scared a voice as she could, "I'm frightened! I don't like this at all."  
  
_This is perfect! He always comforts the girl when she's frightened!_ Isabella thought gleefully.  
  
Before Legolas could respond, Boromir began talking, and he put his attention on the conversation of the Fellowship. Isabella groaned to herself. How was she supposed to get his attention if _they_ were going to keep talking?!?!?  
  
*--*--*  
  
Isabella sat huddled against the cliff-wall. The fire that Gandalf had started was almost gone, not that it had provided that much heat before. She was still freezing and wet, and she wasn't happy about it at all. On the plus side, the _miruvor_ Gandalf had allowed her to have a sip of was tasty, and had warmed her for a while.  
  
It had long since worn off, though, and she was feeling tired. She heard Aragorn say something about dawn, then she nodded off. She was awoken by someone shaking her.  
  
"Do not sleep," Aragorn said to her. "Not in this snow."  
  
Isabella yawned. "But I'm so tired!"  
  
"Do not sleep," he repeated, then went to help Boromir clear the snow off their path.  
  
"What are they doing?" Isabella asked. "Aren't they going the wrong way?"  
  
"We are going back down," Merry told her. "It's too dangerous to continue on the mountain."  
  
"Oh," she replied. _Now I remember,_ she thought. _That other wizard guy makes it snow on them and they have to go into that cave thingie._  
  
Isabella turned to say something to Legolas, but as she did he hurried off. _Drat!_ she grumbled. She stood with the hobbits, Gimli and Gandalf. It was a while before the three that had gone returned. Boromir and Aragorn offered to carry the hobbits to the end of the drift. Legolas ran back to the end again to wait for everyone, and the two men lifted Merry and Pippin. When Boromir returned, he hoisted Sam up and led the way back down the path.   
  
"Come, Isabella," Gandalf said to her. "Walk in front of me. I will lead Bill with Gimli atop of him. Aragorn with follow with Frodo."  
  
Isabella had hoped she would be carried as well, but no such luck. She sighed and began to walk along the path.  
  
When they reached the end of the path the snow that had been cleared crashed down behind them, covering all the hard work of Aragorn and Boromir. Gimli yelled at the mountain and they all continued their now downward journey. After what seemed like forever to Isabella, they reached the bottom.   
  
Isabella walked silently for now, but only because she was once again thinking of ways to win Legolas.  
  
_Those stupid fanfic writers!_ she thought angrily. _When I get home I'm going to tell them a thing or two! None of their plans are working! I don't understand it. It always works in the stories...I guess I'll just have to turn it up a notch or two.   
  
_Isabella looked over at the elf with a gleam in her eye. She'd win him yet!  
  
  



	4. Pain and Suffering

Chapter Four: Pain and Suffering  
  
Isabella walked away from the Fellowship as quietly as she could. They were sitting and talking about what road they should take, and she wasn't much interested. She was getting started on her next plan to win the elf.  
  
_Okay, this damsel in distress thing has to work_, she said to herself. _Surely no gentleman can resist helping a maiden in need.  
  
_With this in mind she tramped along, looking for some way to get into trouble without _really_ getting into trouble. _There's no sense in doing anything stupid_, she reasoned.  
  
As she walked she began to think of other plans--just in case. The others hadn't worked yet, so she thought she ought to have backups. She was so lost in thought that she didn't see the root in front of her, and she tripped over it as a result.  
  
"Ow!" she howled in pain, grabbing her ankle. "Not good! Not good!" She sat for a few minutes, waiting for the pain to subside, then tried to stand. Luckily she could put some weight on it, so she decided it wasn't too bad. She continued her walk, only with a slight limp now.  
  
_Let's see, in the stories he sometimes finds her singing_, she thought. She began mulling over which song would be best, when all of a sudden a howl pierced the night.  
  
Isabella stopped dead in her tracks. Her heart was racing, and she could hardly breathe. _What is that?_ she wondered wildly. She looked around, but could see nothing. She took a deep breath. _Perhaps I should go back to the group and forget this plan_... So, that's what she set out to do.   
  
She began to retrace her steps when there was another howl. She stopped again. She considered climbing a tree for safety, but she couldn't make herself move just yet. The howls were getting closer. She whipped her head around and saw a dark shadow pass among the trees. Isabella let out an ear-piercing shriek and began running without a second thought.  
  
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" she screamed as she ran. She could hear the howls behind her, and the fall of footsteps. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"  
  
She turned her head to look behind herself as she ran, when SMACK! She'd run into something. Whatever it was moved and Isabella closed her eyes, not wanting to see her attacker. She began swinging her fists wildly. She punched, slapped and kicked the thing. She screamed again when she felt a hand on her shoulder.  
  
She whirled around and found Gandalf standing there, his hand still on her shoulder. He was staring seriously at her.   
  
"What are you doing?" he asked her. "Why did you wander away from the group?"  
  
"I...I..." Isabella stammered. "I was off for a walk when suddenly I heard all these howls! I ran and ran, and they chased me, then I ran into something. I fought with all my might, but..." she looked behind herself. The only thing there was a tree. "I suppose I scared it off or wounded whatever it was. As I said before, I _am_ a warrior." She stood as tall as she could and tried to look tough.  
  
"What you heard were Wargs. We should seek shelter immediately. Quickly, to the top of the hill!" Gandalf ordered, then led the way to where they had stopped before so they could gather their things. Isabella limped along as quickly as she could, silently cursing the wargs for ruining her newest plan. She was also stumbling a bit from being exhausted. She wished she had a nice bed to curl up in...maybe with--  
  
"Light a fire," Aragorn broke in.   
  
Isabella walked towards the trees that stood nearby to help collect some wood, grumbling to herself as she did. She was trying to think of another way the girls in the fanfiction realm wooed Legolas, but she was extremely tired and couldn't focus.  
  
"Mister Frodo, sir?" Sam whispered a short distance away.  
  
"What is it, Sam?"  
  
"Isabella says she is a warrior, right?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then why was she beating that poor tree? It didn't do a thing to her!"  
  
Frodo shook his head and glanced over at the girl. "I do not know, Sam."  
  
"If you want _my_ opinion, I think she's mad," Gimli put in. He'd been eavesdropping nearby. The two hobbits nodded solemnly.  
  
"I hear that Legolas, Gandalf and Boromir think she's a spy for the Dark Lord," Merry added. He and Pippin were setting their wood on the pile.  
  
"If that is the case, then perhaps we should all be on our guard," Frodo said to the others. They agreed.  
  
Isabella yawned as she sat her wood on the pile, then walked a few feet away and lay on the ground. She wrapped her cloak about herself and allowed herself to fall asleep despite the danger.  
  
She woke suddenly from her sleep as there was a loud chorus of howls. She hopped to her feet and rushed to where Legolas stood. "What's going on?" she asked worriedly.  
  
Legolas didn't answer. He was standing completely still, staring out into the darkness. Isabella grabbed his arm again. "Legolas?" she whimpered.  
  
"Remove your hand," he said lowly and sternly. She did as he asked after a moment's hesitation, and within a split second he had his bow set and aimed.  
  
Gandalf ordered the hobbits to fling more fuel on the fire and ready their swords. He then spoke to Isabella: "You are unarmed. You should move to the center of the rest of us."  
  
Isabella started to move when she saw the wargs jump into the stone circle that lay around the camp. She screamed and fell backwards.  
  
"Get back!" Boromir yelled as he slid his sword into one of the beasts. Isabella didn't have to be told again. She crawled quickly behind the Fellowship and grabbed a few rocks and a large stick to use should she have to.   
  
She grasped a rock and looked wildly around at the Fellowship and the wargs. She'd never seen such a thing! Suddenly a warg leapt at Legolas. Without thinking, Isabella hurled her rock in its direction. Fortunately, Legolas was able to kill the animal before it reached him. Unfortunately, Isabella didn't have good aim. Her rock that was meant for the warg actually hit Pippin in the back of the head. He groaned and fell to the ground unconscious.   
  
Isabella shrieked and the hobbits cried, "Pippin!" Merry and Sam dragged their friend close to Isabella. Merry hurried back to be with Frodo while Sam stayed with their fallen friend.  
  
"I didn't mean to!" Isabella cried. "It was an accident. I meant to hit the warg..."  
  
Sam didn't say anything. He was examining Pippin's head wound. Gandalf yelled something that Isabella couldn't understand and the trees lit on fire, scaring the remaining wargs away.  
  
The others went quickly over to where Sam, Pippin and Isabella were. Aragorn used some water to wash the wound, then tore a piece of cloth to tie around it. Thankfully it wasn't too serious. He woke as the water was poured on it and was well enough to walk soon after.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Pippin!" Isabella apologized, wincing at the pain in her ankle, which she'd aggravated more when she fell as the attack began.   
  
Pippin accepted the apology graciously and warned her not to try throwing rocks again anytime soon. She agreed to this.  
  
"There is no trace of them anywhere," Aragorn was saying. Isabella looked around and noticed that there were no warg bodies lying around as he had said.  
  
Gandalf said they should try to reach the doors of Moria before sunset, so everyone hurriedly gathered their things and began to follow the Maia.   
  
"Do you think she is trying to kill us all one by one?" Merry whispered. "That her plan was to do worse than give Pip a nasty bump on the head?"   
  
"I do not know," Frodo returned.  
  
"She'll not mess with me or Mister Frodo or she'll regret it, and no mistake!" Sam said gravely.  



	5. Fool of a Sue!

Chapter Five: Fool of a Sue!

  
  
Isabella slumped down onto a stone and placed her head in her hands. Her feet were cold from walking through the water, and she had made a fool of herself yet again.  
  
"I'm so sorry!" she apologized without looking up.   
  
A very damp Boromir scowled at her. "Why did you not pay attention to what you were doing?"  
  
"I... I said I was sorry, Boromir. I just didn't like the feel of the water."  
  
"Surely you knew that running through it would cause splashing, and splashing would result in wet people!" Boromir continued. He'd tried to be patient with the strange girl, but his patience was wearing thin.  
  
Aragorn surveyed the water and murmured, "I only hope that damp companions are all that result from this."  
  
Boromir turned from Isabella and looked out at the water as well. Gandalf was standing near the doors of Moria. He said nothing, but he, too, hoped as much.  
  
Aragorn shook off his fear for the time being and picked up a pack. He took it over to Isabella. "Can you handle this weight?" he asked.  
  
She stood and placed it on her back. It was a little heavy, but she supposed she could carry it. "Yes."  
  
Aragorn then went to help finish sorting out which things could be left from those that should be taken along. Since Bill the pony had to be set loose because of the road they must take; everyone would have to carry some of what he'd born previously. Still, Bill was sticking close to Sam and Sam to the pony for the time being.  
  
Gimli tapped on the rock wall. Merry and Pippin stood as far away from Isabella as possible, Sam clutched his frying pan and eyed Isabella suspiciously. Legolas tried to ignore her as often as possible. Right now he was pressing his ear to the wall. Each member of the Fellowship silently wondered if they would be her next target and which would be the best place to leave her. The sooner the better, they thought.  
  
Isabella sniffled as she looked at her feet. She dared not say anything for the time being as she was too embarrassed. Instead, she began to wonder what was happening to her.  
  
_I'm never this clumsy at home_, she thought. _Why here? Everything's supposed to be perfect here, but nothing's going according to plan! _She looked over at Legolas and felt her old strength coming back to her. _We still have a long ways to go, though._ She grinned and sat back down to think some more.  
  
Time passed and Gandalf spoke various words and spells in words Isabella didn't understand. Boromir cursed the pool of water and cast a stone into it, and received a warning from Frodo. At last, Gandalf spoke the word _mellon_ and the doors swung open. He began to step inside, when Frodo cried out. Something had him. Bill ran away, and Sam set about freeing the Ringbearer from the Watcher in the water. He cut off the beast's tentacle and helped Frodo to his feet.   
  
Gandalf yelled for everyone to get into the mines as more tentacles came out of the water. Isabella stood rooted to her spot. Her eyes were open wide and her jaw was slack.  
  
"Isabella!" Gandalf called. "Get inside!"  
  
Isabella didn't move still. _Please come! Please come!_ she was thinking. _Save me, Legolas!_  
  
As an answer she felt a strong arm go around her knees and lift her off the ground. She folded over and clung to her rescuers back as he ran with her into the mine. As they entered with Gandalf the tentacles pulled the doors shut with a slam, leaving them in darkness.   
  
Isabella's rescuer still held her, unsure of what to do with her in the dark. He didn't want to hold her, but he wanted less to hear her complain about being frightened, so he held tight to the girl's legs.   
  
Gandalf spoke with the Fellowship, then caused a light to come from his staff. The rescuer looked up at the seemingly endless stairs, and that decided it for him. He sat her down abruptly, saying, "You will have to walk from this point on."  
  
Isabella looked pained. _Gimli?_ she screamed to herself. _GIMLI?!?!? I wanted Legolas, not Gimli! _  
  
She nodded at the dwarf and looked around to find the elf. She saw him a few steps up and hurried up to him and once more clutched his arm. "It's so dark!" she whispered. "Promise to protect me?"  
  
Legolas took a deep breath. "I promised to protect the Fellowship before we began this journey. As you are with us for the time being, I shall do all I can."  
  
Isabella smiled and almost swooned. _It worked! A plan actually worked!_ she thought triumphantly. _But what did he mean by 'for the time being?' _She pondered this for a moment, then decided that he wasn't really offering to protect _her_, but everyone. _DRAT!_ she said to herself.  
  
They began their climb of the steps. There were two hundred of them, much to Isabella's dismay. _It wasn't this long in the movie! Maybe I should have read the book more carefully...  
  
_Thinking back to the movie, she remembered Moria clearly. She shuddered. What if she didn't come out of this place alive?  
  
_That's nonsense! They always live in the stories...Don't they?_  
  
  



	6. Orcs Don't Make Good Barbers

****

A/N: I just realized that I never put a disclaimer on this story! I feel awful. :(   
**Disclaimer:** I do not own Middle-earth or its inhabitants. These all belong to the magnificently talented J.R.R. Tolkien and such and such. The only things I own in this story are the introduced characters (Isabella and Alexandra) and the new parts of the story line. I do _not_ own the original story, although that would have been nice. :)  
_________________________________________________________________  
  
Chapter Six: Orcs Don't Make Good Barbers  
  
Isabella was absolutely miserable. She knew there was to be a fight soon, but she couldn't remember exactly _when_. She mentally kicked herself (again) for not paying more attention to J.R.R. Tolkien's work. She vowed that if she ever got out alive, she'd most definitely reread the story all the way through.  
  
There had been a few seemingly minor things happen during the long walk in the dark, which she had to do without Legolas at her side. He'd insisted that he should walk in a different place in line to help guard them. She had reluctantly allowed him to go without putting up a fuss. She decided that it _was_ for the best. At least there would be one more person on guard.  
  
During their trip through Moria thus far little had happened. They walked, ate, slept, walked, ate, walked, walked, walked... Isabella had never walked so much in her life! There were songs sung, stories told, and something dropped down a hole by Pippin. Ever since that incident Isabella had been on edge.   
  
She sat silently, sweat on her brow, as the Company talked about which way to head after breakfast. She was shaking as Gandalf began leading them again. Slowly the fear began to leave her. _  
_  
_Maybe the fight was just added for movie-effects,_ she thought hopefully. _You know, more action or something... Yeah, that's it. We'll be all right. _  
  
She had a little more spring in her step after this thought...that is, until they came to the Chamber of Mazarbul. A light poured down on the familiar looking tomb. Isabella began to once more perspire as Gandalf read the inscription. It was Balin's tomb. Gimli pulled his hood over his face and the others stood silently by. Isabella felt frantic.  
  
"Let's leave!" she said. Her voice was shrill. "This place is dangerous! Let's get out of here!"  
  
The others were searching the room for information. Gandalf told her to calm herself and picked up a book. He began reading words that were familiar to her from the movie.   
  
Gandalf finally decided that they should be back on their way after he read a bit of the book aloud. Isabella gladly started for the door. Then they heard the drums again. Then the footsteps.  
  
Aragorn called for the door to be shut, but Gandalf stopped him. He said they should leave one door ajar, and keep their packs on for as long as they could. The Fellowship drew their swords at the sound of footsteps in the corridor. Isabella felt panicked. She had no weapon and no knowledge of how to fight.   
  
Gandalf said, "Isabella, stay behind us as long as you can. Find a weapon and hide if possible."  
  
Isabella nodded and grabbed an axe that lay on the ground nearby. The handle was partially gone, but she hoped not to use it, anyway. She then hid between a chest and a wall. She pulled her cloak over herself, hoping to be passed over. She left just enough of a gap in her cloak that she could peek out at the chamber. She clutched the axe handle tightly. Gandalf walked from her view, and then she saw a flash of light. When he came back in she heard him saying something about Orcs, Uruks and cave trolls. She shuddered in her hiding place and grasped the handle of her weapon ever so much tighter.  
  
Boromir closed the doors and everyone stood ready, waiting for the fight to begin. Very soon they were at the door, trying to bash their way in. Frodo struck a foot that stuck under the door. Then the doors gave and the Orcs rushed in.   
  
The Fellowship began cutting or shooting them all. One fell backwards and his disgusting hand landed on Isabella. She shrieked, which rose curiosity in two of the Orcs, who hurried over to where she was. One pulled back the cloak. The other grabbed her by her hair and lifted her to her feet. She howled in pain. They laughed wickedly and used one of their scimitars to cut her long, beautiful hair off close to her head, then threw it at her. They pulled her out into the open and prepared to strike her, but fell to the ground.   
  
"Merry! Pippin!" Isabella cried gratefully. "Thank you _so_ much!"   
  
Isabella held her axe tightly and took a swing at a nearby orc. The axe was fairly heavy, so she didn't do much damage, but she did give him a nasty gash in his arm. The orc turned to kill his attacker, but she swung again and caught him in the face this time. He howled and backed away. She looked triumphant until she realized that the orc hadn't given up. He jumped at her.  
  
Isabella shrieked once again and began running about, dodging the orc as he chased her around the chamber. He was gaining on her when she heard a loud thud at her heels. She skidded to a halt, turned around and looked down. The pursuer lay on the ground, dead, an arrow in the back of his neck. Isabella looked up at Legolas, who looked agitated.   
  
"What are you doing?" he said.  
  
"I..." Isabella began, then stopped. Legolas fired another arrow at an orc and left her to herself.  
  
She did what anyone would do in her situation--she felt her hair. Tears sprang into her eyes. She had lost one of her most prized possessions and her head was throbbing. She looked up just in time to see Frodo get stabbed by a huge orc.  
  
Aragorn killed the orc and his followers ran away. Gandalf then called for everyone to run out the eastern door, which was clear. Aragorn scooped Frodo up and pushed Merry and Pippin out in front of him. The others followed, with Legolas dragging Gimli away. Isabella still clutched the axe. She was breathing hard and couldn't hear what was being discussed. Her mind was whirling and her heart was racing.   
  
She allowed herself to be led down the stairs. There they waited in the dark for Gandalf. Would he never come?  
  
This question was answered as Gandalf came flying down the stairs. He thudded on the ground before them and got to his feet. He said very little before calling for them to follow him forward and away from the door.   
  
They fled into the darkness with Gandalf and Gimli leading the way. Isabella longed to run faster, but Sam was directly in front of her, blocking her way and she dared not go on alone. Instead she continued as closely to the person before her as possible, nearly knocking poor Sam to the ground several times in her hurry.   
  
Finally Gandalf said he had to rest, so they paused. Isabella was grateful to be able to sit, but was anxious to be on their way. At the same time, she didn't want to continue. She knew what lay ahead...  



End file.
